It is common for many of us to tolerate a dependence on external validation for emotional security. While this often seems like the only option, it is in fact a very precarious place to be. When our emotional well-being is dominated by the feedback we receive from others and from society in general we are in for a roller coaster ride.

Mostly, as I mentioned, the reason we tolerate this state of affairs is because we don’t know that there is another way to live. We’re so used to this form of social interaction that the idea that we don’t have to work for other peoples’ satisfaction is unimaginable. But, it’s an actual fact that validation can also come from the inside. We don’t have to get it all from external sources.

How do we begin to develop this kind of emotional independence? We need to train the mind so that it resides in the present moment by default. Then our compass becomes our own ability to remain present rather than someone else’s idea of what we should be working for. People have all kinds of ideas of what success means in life, but those ideas are not worth very much if they don’t lead to satisfaction. Instead, if we put our effort into accepting things the way the are, then we don’t have to worry about how to change them.

Something magical happens when we let go and bring the mind to the present. We find that things evolve in a more natural way towards our own strengths. The more we learn how to allow this process to unfold, the happier we become because we recognize the validity and value of our present existence.

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(4) Make Friends with Yourself